


to build a home

by fauu_stine



Series: social media AUs [2]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bipolar Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Pining, Roommates to lovers, Sexual Tension, Social Media AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 110
Words: 12,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauu_stine/pseuds/fauu_stine
Summary: Disillusioned and cynical, Isak believes nothing's worth fighting for anymore. That is until he meets Even, beautiful but deeply heartbroken. All of a sudden, it becomes Isak's life mission to make Even smile again.OR: a (kinda) roommates to lovers social media AU
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Series: social media AUs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919482
Comments: 122
Kudos: 497





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read my first social media AU repost, then same rules than before. For the newbies, this work is lots of groupchats conversations, some Instagram/Twitter content, and of course written parts. It's a finished work, I'm just reposting everything on ao3 (it's been published on Twitter first, months ago), so it should be quite fast. I'm posting multiple updates everyday, because it takes some time to repost everything, but also so you can get a glimpse of the original experience. 
> 
> Don't hesitate to share your thoughts. And I hope you enjoy it <3


	2. Chapter 2




	3. Chapter 3




	4. Chapter 4




	5. Chapter 5




	6. Chapter 6




	7. Chapter 7




	8. Chapter 8




	9. Chapter 9




	10. Chapter 10




	11. Chapter 11




	12. Chapter 12




	13. Chapter 13




	14. Chapter 14




	15. Chapter 15




	16. Chapter 16

Isak is already waiting at the door when he gets a message from Mikael telling him they are in front of the building, and he lets them in. It feels like it takes them forever to climb the stairs up to the apartment but when Isak gets a first glimpse of Mikael's friend, he kind of understands. The young man is tall, taller than him, yet he looks incredibly fragile as Mikael leads him silently inside. He's wearing far too many layers of clothes too, his movements are slow and unsure.

"Where are the others?" Mikael asks with a low voice and his friend glances at the empty room as if he's worried "the others" are going to appear out of nowhere.

"Sleeping," Isak reassures and he only realizes he's looking at Mikael's friend while saying it when their eyes meet.

_ Blue.  _ He has deep blue eyes. Blue and  _ sad, very sad,  _ eyes.

But then the young man looks away and makes a move to hide even more behind Mikael. It kind of breaks Isak's heart and he doesn't know why. He doesn't even know that guy.

"Alright. Thank you for waiting for us."

Isak shrugs, "told you I wasn't even sleeping."

Mikael smiles at him and makes a move to hug him - Isak got used to it, it's a very Mikael thing to do. "Good night, Isak."

"Good night," he whispers back as Mikael and his friend disappear in the hallway and then inside Mik's bedroom.

Isak does the same, eventually, walking back to his room and crawling under his sheets. But as he's staring at the ceiling, waiting to fall asleep, all he can see is sad blue eyes staring back at him in the shadows.


	17. Chapter 17




	18. Chapter 18




	19. Chapter 19




	20. Chapter 20




	21. Chapter 21

Isak is working on his physics assignment on the kitchen table when he notices a movement from the corner of his eye. He has just the time to look up in the direction of the hallway to get a glimpse of a tall silhouette in jogging pants and a hoodie disappearing in the bathroom.

It's Even, of course it is, there are the only two people in the apartment. Nothing special. And yet his heart starts racing for no fucking reason. It's just Even taking a piss, why is he getting so nervous all of sudden? Fuck Eva for getting to his head and making a big deal out of this. Even deserves a break.  _ He _ deserves a break.

Isak tries to concentrate on his assignment again but all his thoughts stay stuck on his temporary roommate. What if Even needs something and he can't hear him because he's staring at his book and he has his earphones on? He told Mikael he would be available if Even needed something, maybe he shouldn't be listening to music right now? Isak gets rid of his earphones before cursing. He's being ridiculous! Even doesn't need him, he's just taking a goddamn piss!

He's picking up his pen, determined to get back to work and forget about Even when he hears footsteps in the hallway. 

_ Don't look up, don't look up, don't- _

Isak looks up right when Even makes a short stop in front of the kitchen. Just like the other night, their eyes meet and Isak is reduced to silence. He knows he should say something, just a casual "hello" and not stare at Even like he's some kind of strange creature but his body won't operate.

Even has his hoodie on and he's looking as fragile as the first night he's seen him. The dark bruises he has under his eyes tell Isak that despite staying day and night inside Mikael's room, he isn't getting much sleep. That, Isak can relates to. Focusing on Even's blue gaze again, he hates how the numbness and the hollowness he reads in it look familiar, for having seen it in someone else eyes before too - someone he has loved very deeply and yet couldn't save.

Something starts vibrating - his phone, he realizes after a while - and it both brings them back to reality.

Even looks startled, but Isak can't say if it's because of the unexpected noise or because of… whatever just happened. Isak can feel his cheeks blushing from embarrassment, he's still desperately tongue-tied so the only thing his brain comes up with is a pathetic wave of his hand.

_ Waving? Really, Isak?! _

Even tilts his head, surprised, but all Isak can think about is how fucking cute his reaction is.

_ Fuck off Eva, this is all your fault! _

Eventually, Even waves back and the next second, he's on his way back to Mikael's room. Isak waits for the bedroom door to close before letting his head fall on his book, groaning his frustration and his pain - why did he just bang his head on a hard surface, he needs his remaining braincells to function for fucks sake!

One thing is certain: he's never telling what happened to Eva or Jonas. 

_ What a fucking moron! _


	22. Chapter 22




	23. Chapter 23




	24. Chapter 24




	25. Chapter 25

Dinner night was actually a very good idea, not that Isak would tell Vilde. Cooking together was chaotic but fun, the meal was good - surprisingly - and they even ended up a bit tipsy. 

Everything was great, really, until Vilde and Eva decided to put some music and started singing.

The thing is, none of them are good singers.  _ At all. _

"My ears are bleeding, please cut the music  _ now _ ," Isak begs, which only results in the girls singing louder. A fucking tragedy. 

He sees Jonas walking to Eva's phone, finally, but then Eva notices and glances at him, making his best friend stop right away.

Isak hates to admit that Eva does look scary and he wouldn't risk it either.

"You're so boring," she accuses them as Vilde gets her phone. 

"What should we play now?"

Eva smirks and Isak can feel he's in trouble. And he's proved right when she replies, "something that Isak can sing."

_ Fuck his life. _

"No way, no! I'm out."

"Come on, Isak! I know you can sing, better than any of us, so do it!"

"It's not hard to sing better than you, it doesn't mean anything."

"Harsh!" Eva exclaims and brings her hand to her chest in a very dramatic gesture. Isak rolls his eyes at her, because he's not dramatic at all himself.

"Oh, but I know which song works on Isak," Jonas intervenes, signing today as the day his best friend shamelessly betrayed him, and for what?

"Stop talking right there or-"

"Which song?" Mikael asks now, looking way too excited by all of this. 

How did this dinner turn into bullying Isak night, he has no idea, but this is the last time he's taking part in any roommates activities.

(It's not. But it doesn't mean he can't lie to himself about it, for the sake of his own dignity.)

"Remember our first year? Our cabin trip, the fire, my guitar, Isak begging for me to play…"

"I hate you all so much."

"It's not even a little bit true, Issy," Eva winks at him and then has the nerves to hug him. Isak can't even get rid of her, she's weirdly strong when she got wine in her system.

(She isn't. He just doesn't want to admit he doesn't mind the affection.)

"Gimme, I know what to play," Eva leaves him to get her phone from Vilde and then they both start singing again, this time on I'm yours by Jason Mraz.

He hates 16 years old Isak the most right now.

"Come on, Isak!" Vilde encourages him and then proceed to murder the lyrics.

"You're not even singing the right lyrics, it's so bad," he can't help but open his stupid mouth. Jonas and Mikael laugh behind him but he decides to ignore them.

"That's not true!"

"What are the right ones then?" Eva asks smugly. "I bet you don't even remember half of it."

Isak knows it's a trick, she's trying to use his competitive nature against him but you know what?

It's working.

"It's  _ so I won't hesitate no more,  _ not  _ so I won't wait no more.  _ You're mixing it up with the next line."

"What?"

"I said it's  _ so I won't hesitate no more, _

_ It cannot wait I'm sure _ ," he clarifies.

"Wait, say it again."

"For fucks sake, it's…" And then he doesn't even realize he's singing the chorus even though he swore he wouldn't.

_ So I won't hesitate no more _

_ It cannot wait I'm sure _

_ There's no need to complicate _

_ Our time is short _

_ This is our fate, I'm yours _

All his friends cheer at him and he's smiling, a little bit tipsy, a little bit embarrassed and a little bit happy, too.

_ I'm yours _ , he sings louder with the girls right before he meets a pair of ocean eyes and a very confused face.

_ Oh fuck. _

Even. This is Even standing a couple of meters away from them since he doesn't know how long but for sure long enough to witness him singing on I'm yours and making a fool of himself.  _ Again. _

This is a disaster. Isak  _ is  _ a disaster.

"Even!" Mikael smiles and runs to him. "We left some pasta for you, if you're hungry. Are we making too much noise? I'm sorry, it got a bit out of hand."

It looks like it's too much questions in a row for Even because he just shrugs as an answer. He's still looking at Isak though, his expression impossible to decipher, and Isak really wishes for the floor to swallow him whole.

"Even is actually the best cook I know," Mikael says, clearly proud of his friend. "He makes pasta from scratch and it's just amazing!"

"Wow, you need to cook for us next time!" Vilde suggests with her usual enthusiasm.

"Yes, please! All these boys are useless, we need someone who knows what he's doing," Eva adds.

Isak can hear Jonas and Mikael trying to defend themselves but it all fades in the background as he's looking at Even nervously shifting his body from right to left. It's clearly too much attention and too much people all at once. 

"So hm… are you hungry? I can show you where we put the pasta," Isak manages to articulate. He just wants to give Even an opportunity to escape to the kitchen, away from them.

Even clears his voice, ready to speak, and Isak holds his breath. But then the others go silent and all eyes are on him again. 

"I… sorry for interrupting. And thanks for the pasta but I'm a bit tired," he says, his voice almost a whisper but Isak can't help but notice how deep it is.

"It's okay," Mikael jumps in immediately, a good friend as always. "See you later?"

Even nods at him, glances one last time at Isak before walking away. 

It takes Isak way too long to start breathing normally again.


	26. Chapter 26




	27. Chapter 27




	28. Chapter 28

His phone shows 2:21 in the morning when Isak gives up on his first attempt of the night to fall asleep. He feels wide awake and his brain is anything but silent. The traitor keeps bringing him back to Mikael's words -  _ he was looking at you  _ \- and to Even's eyes on him, his gaze reading something on him, but what? Isak has no idea. 

So he leaves his room, like he often does in the middle of the night when his own mind tortures him, and walks to the kitchen to make himself some tea. A few years ago, he would have laughed at the prospect. But years of fighting insomnia made him more open to Noora's and Eskild's suggestions. A cup of herbal tea was the result of it. He still believes it's bullshits but it remains his best option so it will do.

But as he's getting close to the kitchen, Isak notices something unusual: there is light inside and, after pausing for a moment, he can hear someone opening and closing the kitchen cupboards. 

It seems like he's not the only insomniac tonight.

He doesn't think twice before stepping inside the kitchen, which is a mistake, because then he ends up once again in front of Even and without any idea of what to say to him. 

The fact that the memory of their last embarrassing encounter hasn't left his mind doesn't help either.

Even turns around as he hears him walk in, a hand still holding the handle of one of the kitchen cupboards. They stare at each other,  _ again _ , and Isak is this close to walk away because it's getting too ridiculous, them not being able to communicate, but then-

"I wanted to make tea, do you have some somewhere by any chance?" Even asks, his voice small and unsure, but at least he's talking to him and Isak feels weirdly happy about it.

"Yes we do. Let me show you."

Isak joins him and if his heart is racing as he's standing right next to Even, no one needs to know.

(Especially not Eva. Or Vilde. Or anyone, really.)

Isak gets the camomile from the right cupboard followed by two mugs. Even is watching his every move like he's learning how to make tea all over again and that's what gives Isak an idea.

Once upon a time, before he learnt how to do it right, he used hot tap water to make tea. His high school friend Sana laughed at him for it for at least six months. The thing is, it's not easy to make Sana laugh the way he did with the tap water fiasco. So if it worked on her, maybe…

Isak silently says goodbye to the last bits of his dignity and turns on the faucet, waits for the water to get somewhat warm and then grabs a mug. 

That's when he finally hears it-

Even snorts before letting escape a surprised laugh. The sound resonates in the silence of the kitchen and Isak almost drops the mug in the sink. 

Isak has to glance at Even then, has to see if he looks the same as his pictures when he's laughing. If he looks as beautiful. 

And the shadow of a smile he finds on Even's face, right in the corner of his lips like it's too shy to really show itself yet, still feels like his biggest accomplishment in a very long time.

Even smiled.  _ Because of him _ .

Isak is grinning, too, and he doesn't even care if he's acting like a lunatic.

"Do you need help?" Even asks him and Isak swears it sounds like he's trying to tease him.

"Sure," Isak agrees even though he really doesn't need help to fill the mugs with tap water and make a proper fool of himself.

He's actually expecting Even to get a hand on the kettle, to put an end to the disaster but he doesn't. Instead he grabs the other mug, leans towards Isak, so close that they are almost touching, and proceeds to fill the mug with tap water, too. Isak is so stunned than Even is the one who ends up turning off the faucet, takes both of their mugs and places them on the kitchen table. 

_ Why is he- _

Even takes a seat and doesn't hesitate before having a sip of his tea. 

Isak can't believe it, can't believe  _ him _ . 

The other mug is waiting for him, an invitation that he can't refuse (and doesn't want to refuse). He moves slowly to the table, sits in front of Even and mindlessly takes a sip of his tea...

Obviously, it's a disaster. And the fact that Even is drinking it regardless is a mystery to him. 

_ "He was looking at you." _

They don't talk much after that, or maybe not at all. The silence isn't heavy though, on the contrary, Isak feels himself relax under Even's eyes and throughout the silent conversation they seem to share. 

And when their mugs are empty, Even offers him another smile, a wordless _thank you_ _for the tea_ and _thank you for this moment_ , and deep down Isak hopes it also means _until next time_.

Until next time.


	29. Chapter 29




	30. Chapter 30




	31. Chapter 31

* subtle (sorry)


	32. Chapter 32




	33. Chapter 33




	34. Chapter 34




	35. Chapter 35

Isak is exhausted when he finally opens the front door of the apartment, and not enthusiast at all at the prospect of having to take care of the laundry. So it's with dragging feet that Isak starts looking for the laundry basket that Eva must have left somewhere. He checks the bathroom first, but it's empty, so empty than even their towels are gone - most likely in said laundry basket that he can't localize. Great.

He tries the kitchen and even his bedroom because why not, at this point? But no such luck. Now he's starting to get pissed. 

Isak gets his phone, ready to make a scandal, and only then notices he got a bunch of unread messages from the flatshare groupchat. After his exam he just went straight home without opening any message. He just wanted some  _ peace _ .

He clicks on the notification right when Mikael's bedroom door opens and Even appears with… the fucking laundry basket in his hands, filled with clothes, towels and what Isak supposes are Mikael's sheets.

"Oh, hi!" Even greets him with a smile. A SMILE. Isak is so stunned that he forgets to greet him, too. "How did it go with your exam?"

"Hm…"  _ Come on, Isak! You can do it. _ "Alright. Pretty good, I think."

"That's great," Even nods and he even looks genuinely happy for him.

"You… I… I mean, I was supposed to take care of this," he mumbles like a loser, pointing at the laundry basket.

"Oh, it's okay! You haven't seen my messages? I told Eva I would take care of it."

"You don't have to, I…"

"I insist," Even cuts him off, and then grins at him kindly. "That's the least I can do, I've been crashing here far too long."

"It's no problem, really."

"And you just got out of an exam, you must be tired. I haven't done anything these past two weeks, I can do that."

Isak looks at him then,  _ really _ looks at him. He doesn't seem as tired as the last time he saw him, far from it, he has left some of his layers of clothes and he's talking.  _ Smiling _ . Whatever was the problem before, he does look much better now.

He suddenly gets an idea and decides to act on it before he changes his mind.

"I have a proposition," Isak says. Even arches an eyebrow as he waits for him to elaborate but the simple mimic makes Isak's knees tremble for a moment. That's  _ very _ embarrassing. Isak has to take a deep breath before suggesting, "what if we do it together? We can work faster that way."

"Deal," Even agrees, immediately, not thinking twice about it. "And after we can watch some Netflix or something."

Isak doesn't have time to react, Even is already walking outside the apartment with the laundry, a smirk on his lips Isak is 100% gone for.

_ Well _ .  _ That's a deal. _

_ * _

"Wait, I have a doubt. It's yellow. But like, light yellow. Should I put it with the colors or with the white?" Even asks, and he has this stupid smug grin on his face, because he's teasing Isak and apparently it's something he loves to do. Isak wishes he didn't enjoy it himself as much as he does. 

"You kidding me," Isak mutters and it immediately makes Even giggle.  _ Giggle! _

"So you separate the white from the dark from the colors. You also separate the clothes from the sheets and the towels because it's not washed at the same temperature. How many machines are we supposed to make with this system? By the way, is it your system - like a Valtersen system - or is it a universal system? I've never heard of it. Why did no one tell me there was a specific laundry system to follow?" Even keeps on making fun of him and Isak has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning like a fool, too.

The thing is, it's all new to him. Isak knows he has habits and ways to do things he feels the need to follow no matter what. It makes sense to him but sadly, only to him. Most people call him strict, uptight or even obsessive - nothing positive, because what they really think of him is that he's annoying. At least that's what his last attempt at dating told him, as well as a few other guys who didn't stick long enough to get to know him but just enough to notice he likes when the dishes is done after eating and do not stay two days in the sink for nothing, and apparently it makes him boring. 

Whatever. Isak got used to it.

But Even, it's different. He's teasing him, making jokes about "his Valtersen system", sure; but it's never meant to be mean and he doesn't seem to be annoyed by it either. On the contrary, judging by his smile and his laughter, he finds Isak's manners highly entertaining.

And maybe even a little… endearing?

Isak can't remember the last time someone has looked at him the way Even keeps looking at him. 

It's kind of addictive, though. He doesn't want it,  _ him _ , to stop.

"So what kind of exam was it? I heard you're a genius," Even enquires, jumping on one of the washing-machine and almost knocking the white clothes basket over in the process. He saves it at the last second, glances at Isak to check if the incident went unnoticed then settles more comfortably, looking proud of himself. 

Isak huffs. "I saw that, clumsy." Even leans towards him and starts to play with Isak's colors basket.

Isak thinks he's very endearing too.

"It was genetics. And I'm not a genius."

"What's your degree?"

"Biochemistry."

"Then you're a genius," Even says like it's finale. Isak hopes he's not turning as red as he feels he does. "And a nerd," he adds, teasing obvious in his voice. 

Isak slaps his hand then, the one who's been wandering on his basket, and it makes Even burst out laughing. "A cute nerd, though, don't worry!"

"Shut up," Isak groans and turns around, throwing his laundry in a machine. He's not doing it to have an excuse to hide his grinning and blushing face from Even, not at all. "What are  _ you _ studying? Mik said you're from Trondheim."

He doesn't get an immediate answer, which is a first today, so he stops what he's doing to check on Even. Gone is his smile then, his expression foggy, a bit haunted.

_ What did he say? _

"Even?"

"Hm?" Even looks up at him again before forcing a smile. Isak knows it's fake. He has seen the genuine, joyful ones today and this one is a lie. "Should we hurry? If Eva doesn't get her panties back she's going to throw a tantrum," he says and gets busy again.

"Sure. Good call." 

_ What happened _ .

"Hey, genius?" Even calls him only a few seconds later.

"What?"

"Thank you."

Isak glances at him; Even looks weirdly serious. 

"For what?"

"For trusting me with your underwears."

"Oh fuck off!"

Even's laugh is filling the small room again and Isak decides that from now on, it's his favorite sound.

He never wants to stop hearing it.


	36. Chapter 36




	37. Chapter 37




	38. Chapter 38

* pretend "by the way" (the first message) has been sent by Even and not Isak


	39. Chapter 39




	40. Chapter 40




	41. Chapter 41




	42. Chapter 42




	43. Chapter 43




	44. Chapter 44




	45. Chapter 45




	46. Chapter 46




	47. Chapter 47




	48. Chapter 48




	49. Chapter 49

"So if you're from Trondheim, how did you and Mikael meet?" Isak asks as he's, unabashed, licking his greasy fingers. That was a damn good burger.

"I'm from Oslo, actually," Even corrects. He ate his burger in exactly two minutes. He joked about it, how one day he won't even get out of bed to have a piece of bread, but the next day he can eat for two people in just a few minutes. So now he's sipping the last drops of his Sprite, waiting for Isak to be properly done with his meal. "I went to Trondheim after high school, I wanted a fresh start."

"Oh, which school did you go to?"

"Bakka. That's where I met Mikael. You?"

"Nissen."

"Funny," Even comments. "I almost transferred there to repeat my third year but Mik convinced me not to."

Isak wonders what would have happened if he had. Would Even have noticed him? Isak wouldn't have missed him, that's for sure. Would they have had the opportunity to get to know each other? Become friends? And even more? Isak was so deep in the closet back then, he doubts he would ever have dared to approach Even. Maybe Even would have done it.

So many possibilities. As many parallel universes.

"You had to repeat? What happened?" Isak dares to ask.

It makes Even pause for a second. He looks down, plays with his used napkin pensively. "Basically," he starts, licks his lips slowly and then looks up, straight into Isak's eyes. Isak has never seen him so determined. "The same stuff that happened at Trondheim and fucked up everything again."

"You…" Isak whispers but stops. He feels bad about asking. Maybe Even just wanted to have fun. Maybe he shouldn't be asking personal questions like this. It isn't his place. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be noisy."

"You're not," Even assures immediately. He's still holding Isak's gaze when he confesses, "the truth is… I'm ill. Like, mentally ill. Bipolar. That's why I keep ruining everything."

_ Oh. _

It doesn't come across as a complete surprise; to be honest, Isak kind of expected something like that. It made sense, after the past weeks, and he also was familiar with it - he has grown up with it. 

Still. It's not a casual thing to share and Isak tries very hard to have the right reaction. He doesn't want to disappoint Even.

"Are you sure you can't fix whatever happened at Trondheim?" He tries.

"I guess I could. I'm just sick of having to start over and over again because my brain is fucked. Because I'm fucked," Even says. So far both his voice and his facial expression were calm, detached. But his last words are shaking with something akin to anger. 

Isak thinks he recognizes it: self-hatred. He used to live with it, and sometimes it's living inside him still, too. He gets it.

But the words also hit him like a slap. He won't accept them. No way.

"You're not fucked," Isak replies, firm, resolute. "Don't speak about yourself like that."

Even looks surprised by his reaction half-second before brushing it off. "You have no idea what-"

"I have no idea what you went through," Isak cuts him off. He feels bad about it but he's too upset to stop. "I don't know what it feels like and I'm sorry it's happening to you. But you shouldn't define yourself only based on something you didn't choose. The best person I know is ill, too, and she deserves better than being defined by her illness." It feels good to say it, something he never had the chance to say to  _ her _ , sadly, so he's glad he can say it to Even. It feels good until he gets out of his head and realizes Even is staring at him with wide eyes. Fuck. He just lectured Even. What the fuck. "Sorry. I'm sorry," he mumbles, his cheeks burning. What an ass.

"Okay," Even nods before getting up. For a moment Isak's sure he messed up everything and Even's mad at him. He's sure Even is going to leave him there, which he totally deserves.

But he's wrong.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Even suggests and then smiles at him.

*

Once outside, they walk side by side, bodies so close that their hands are brushing. Usually, it would have made Isak's heart go crazy. Tonight, though, the tension between them is different. Something else is coming, he can feel it, and he's too focused on this something else.

It's Even who brings it up first.

"I have a proposition," he says, repeating Isak's words from the laundry day. Then he pauses. It should be annoying but Isak's too busy staring at Even lighting himself a cigarette. It's enough of a distraction. "I will tell you everything if you tell me a bit more about that person you mentioned to me."

Even takes a drag.

"Deal," Isak answers, no hesitation, the same way Even didn't back then, too.

He exhales. Starts speaking.

"I had my first manic episode during my last year of high school. Posted some crazy stuff on Facebook. Kissed my best friend - well, Mikael, because I had a crush on him back then. Cheated on my girlfriend Sonja in the process. Scared everybody when I crashed a few days later and stop eating, stop moving, stop talking, almost stop breathing, too." Isak holds back his breath but forces himself not to react. Even glances at him briefly before he keeps going. "Anyway. Sonja forgave me and stayed with me, helped me get my shit together. I tried to avoid Mikael and all our friends but Mik never gave up on me. He stayed too and tried to help me. But after graduating I was sick of being the crazy guy so Sonja and I decided to leave. I got accepted in Trondheim in the teaching program I wanted, it seemed like a good idea. A perfect new start."

Even winces as he says the last words, and it's unconscious, Isak believes, which is enough for him to guess;

"It wasn't?"

"It was, for a while. I could be me without any rumours, without my past mistakes hovering over me. But Sonja… Well, she's seen it all. She didn't want it to happen again, maybe way more than me, so she was always after me making sure I was doing things right. Taking my meds, not drinking, not smoking, not staying late at night, not fucking living like everybody else. I left Oslo to have a normal life but she was always reminding me of what happened. And I get it, you know? She went through a lot, too. But it wasn't good for us. We were fighting all the time, starting to hate each other and yet we were staying together because we felt like we had to." 

They stop to sit on a bench. Isak hasn't even noticed they were now in a park. Even offers him his cigarette but his hands feel useless so he checks his head. Even takes a big puff of smoke in return.

"Until it happened again," he says, almost in a whisper. "I'm bipolar. I can't escape it, no matter how hard I try. The meds help, but the episodes, they won't completely disappear. Because I was already so mad at Sonja, I ignored her when she told me to stay home and told her we were done. I finally did what we should have done months, maybe years ago: I broke us up. But it was the worst time to do it. I showed up at parties and all my new friends thought I was taking drugs. I stopped showing up to class, emailed some crazy projects ideas to my teachers instead. Then I crashed. Hard. Worst depressive episode of my life. Sonja had to explain the situation to my teachers and to our friends. I was… in a very dark place. She got scared, called my parents. I only agreed to leave with them because I wanted her to understand I was serious about the break up. We were still living in the same apartment, so..." He doesn't finish but Isak gets the idea. "My parents took me back in Oslo, and I felt like a failure. I was supposed to be an adult and yet here I was lying in my childhood bed at my parents' place because I couldn't be trusted to stay alone. So after a few days, when I got the energy for it, I begged Mikael to come pick me up. He was the only friend I had left. I didn't really think about it but Mik didn't hesitate one second."

"He's a great friend," Isak says because he doesn't know what to say to everything else. Probably because there is nothing to say; after all, words can't fix Even's past. 

"He really is," Even agrees, and then, "I'm sorry, it was a lot."

"It's okay," Isak reaches out and grabs Even's hand. He doesn't think about it, and Even's squeezing his hand back before he has time to panic and take it back. "Thank you for telling me all of this. I can only imagine how difficult it was to share it."

Even shrugs. "I don't know."

"Hm?"

"It was weirdly easy to speak to you."

_ Oh. _

"Oh."

Even smiles softly, almost dreamily, before he asks;

"What about the person you told me about?"

Isak takes his hand back to nervously play with his fingers.

"Oh, it's my mom. She's… She's great. She likes poetry. She plays the piano. She likes to go to church every Sunday. She's a believer, and sometimes she thinks God is speaking to her. It's okay, when it's God, I guess. It was harder when it was demons. And it was mostly demons after my dad left us. It was probably only demons after I left too. But I was sixteen, I didn't know what to do and I thought if she knew I looked at boys the same way Jonas looked at girls, she would hate me."  _ Breathe, Isak. Breathe.  _

Even takes his hand again, and gently slides his fingers between his own.

"She didn't, though. I told her last year and she didn't even blink. She said she couldn't wait to meet my boyfriend. I didn't even have a boyfriend."

"I'm happy for you," Even whispers as he leans against him, shoulders brushing.

"Thanks."

"How is she now?"

"She's… away from me. According to my father she couldn't stay at home alone so he convinced her to go leave with her sister in Bergen. I said I would come back home to be with her but he wouldn't listen. He left and then he made her leave, too. They all left." 

_ Me. They all left me,  _ he doesn't say.

"I'm sorry," Even tells him, then brings their joined hands to his mouth and kisses Isak's knuckles. 

"It's okay," Isak says, to Even as much as himself. Then he snorts, "well, it was some heavy shit."

It makes Even laugh. It always feels like a victory.

When Isak turns his head towards him, Even's already looking back at him. When Isak smiles at him, Even grins back, too. When Isak's gaze drops to Even's lips, Even's eyes do the same. When Isak leans over, Even-

Even's phone rings and Isak steps back, half-dizzy, half-embarrassed. 

"Sorry," Even whispers, lets go of his hand to check his phone. Isak has just the time to see Sonja's name on the screen before Even quickly puts it back inside his jacket. 

_ Right _ .

"Hm… Should we head back home? I need to make a call." 

Even isn't looking at him anymore but Isak can read his face nonetheless. And he looks guilty.

"Sure," Isak agrees, of course he does. What else can he say? 

_ Of course _ .


	50. Chapter 50




	51. Chapter 51




	52. Chapter 52




	53. Chapter 53




	54. Chapter 54




	55. Chapter 55

"Full?" Even asks, grinning wide as he's looking at a half-asleep Isak on the other side of the table. The dinner was amazing, Even hadn't lied about his cooking skills, and it was without a doubt the best homemade dinner Isak has ever had. The best date he ever went too, too; not that he had many dates to compare it to but he was pretty sure nothing and no one could compete with Even anyway.

"Yeah," he nods in a laugh. "It was delicious, thank you for this."

"My pleasure," Even shrugs before taking a sip from his glass of wine.  _ Smug and handsome bastard _ , thinks Isak as he watches him licking his lower lip, running after a drop of wine trying to escape. 

Isak is dying to lick it himself.

Instead he fails to refrain a yawn.  _ Fuck _ .

Even laughs, thankfully, and teases him for it, "am I boring you now?"

"Shut up. Of course not," he mumbles in response, blush creeping to his cheeks. It's been a long week and he was, indeed, full after such a meal. He was tired, blame him!

"Maybe I should take you home," Even suggests, grinning, proud of his joke. "You look like you could use the walk."

"Home?" Isak snorts. "You mean to my bedroom, five meters away?"

"It's better than nothing."

They both laugh then, never breaking eye contact. Isak is ready to agree to anything when it comes to Even. Mikael was right; he really likes Even.

And he doesn't want to know on what Mikael could also be right, to be honest. Maybe for once, he could live in the moment and enjoy this.

After all, Even seems to like him just as much.

"Come on," Even invites him, standing up and offering him his hand.

"You're ridiculous," Isak rolls his eyes but takes the hand nonetheless.

And as they are walking in the hallway, Isak knows what's going to happen. He doesn't know  _ how,  _ but he knows he's going to kiss Even Bech Næsheim, because there is no way he's going to let him turn away without having the chance to press his lips against his, without figuring out if he tastes like the wine he just drunk. 

It's a promise.

"This is me," Isak indulges him. He's pretty sure it sounds like a line from a cheesy movie Even would love.

"Nice."

Even smirks before placing a hand against the wall, right by Isak's head, forcing him to step back until his back is pressed against his bedroom's door. In that moment, Isak is the most thankful for the slight size difference between them, because Even looks like he's hovering over him and Isak doesn't hate it one bit.

Even's other hand moves to come squeeze his right hip slightly. Then he starts running his fingers along his side, sending shivers on his way, only stopping to cradle Isak's face, fingertips brushing the curls in the nape of his neck, palm holding his jaw firmly but not too tightly, and thumb stroking his cheek. Their lips are so close than they are sharing the same air, hot and humid, full of promises.

Isak gets his hands on him then, holding on to the small of his back to press him more tightly against him. 

"Can I kiss you goodnight, Isak? Even whispers, his mouth pressing in the corner of his own.

Isak decides there and then that words are useless, so he tilts his head and pushes his lips gently against Even's. He can feel Even smiling, and it's a dizzying feeling, knowing that Isak kissing him is the reason for it.

The kiss turns heated quickly, Even coaxing his mouth open wider with his thumb before their tongues meet, languid as they dance together, tasting and exploring each other. They only stop once in a while for Even to graze Isak's Cupid bow with his teeth or for Isak to suck a bruise into the thin and sensitive skin of Even's neck.

They both lose sense of time.

And Isak wouldn't mind staying there all night long, arms wrapped around Even's frame, soaking in the heat coming from their two bodies squeezed together, lips bruising from kissing but not stopping anyway, insatiable.

But he's also thinking about his roommates and the last thing he wants is them running into them making out against his bedroom door. They would never let him live with it.

So;

"Even," Isak murmures between hungry, passionate kisses, "stay," and Even nods willingly.

Next thing he knows, their limbs are tangled together and Even is pressing him against his mattress as they kiss deep and slow. 

Even is staying.

*

When Isak wakes up the next day though, he's alone and the spot next to him in his bed is empty and cold.


	56. Chapter 56




	57. Chapter 57




	58. Chapter 58




	59. Chapter 59




	60. Chapter 60




	61. Chapter 61




	62. Chapter 62




	63. Chapter 63

When Vilde suggested going out, lsak was at first more than reluctant to the idea. After all, Jonas and Eva had been avoiding each other for days, Mikael looked like he felt guilty every time Jonas was speaking to him, and Isak still hadn't had the opportunity to have a proper discussion with Even - he tried, for sure, but Even was very good at making him lose his mind and forget about everything else.

But it turns out, it isn't  _ that _ bad. They are all tipsy enough from the drinks they had before heading to the club to be somewhat relaxed and cheerful. Eva and Vilde managed to get free shots at the bar and are now dancing not far away from their table. Jonas and Mikael seem to be having a very intense conversation, probably about something artsy and pretentious, like always. And Isak, well, he's sitting alone in front of them, because Even left him ten minutes ago and still hasn't come back.

He needs a drink.

The way to the bar is a struggle. See, this is precisely why Isak isn't a big fan of clubbing. Too many (drunk) people, too much noise, too expensive drinks and most important, way too much dancing; yes, he hates dancing. What is even the point for him to come here? If it wasn't for his friends, he would never set foot in there.

"Hey, handsome. You alone?" He hears against his ear and he flinches, stumbles on his own feet. An arm wraps around his waist and prevents him from losing his balance.

"For fucks sake, Even!"

"What? Did I scare you?" Even smirks, before pressing his smug face in the crook of Isak's neck. 

"Shut up. You didn't," Isak protests. It sounds weak even to him. Whatever. "Just don't creep on me like that."

"You must hear that a lot, though."

"What?"

"You being handsome. Compliments," Even clarifies, leaving lsak's neck and stepping back so they can see each other properly. The smile in the corner of his mouth says he's joking, but his eyes says he also means his words. 

"Of course. I have a whole list of suitors waiting for me to give them a chance."

"I knew it!" Isak rolls his eyes at him. "What? It would make sense."

"You know you don't have to use this pseudo flirting technique on me, right? You've already managed to get me into your bed."

"Well, technically, it was  _ your  _ bed," Even keeps teasing him and Isak kisses him into silence.

Isak isn't a big fan of clubbing. But truth to be told, when it's with Even, it doesn't feel that bad anymore.

Even's hands sneak behind his back, settling on his lower back to press him even more against him and aligning their hips together. Isak is well aware that Even is making them dance, even if it's way too slow compared to the beat of the music and the other bodies around them, but he doesn't even mind when Even is kissing him so softly, like he's something precious.

"Listen," Even whispers against his lips. "Listen."

"What?" Isak frowns. He can't tell if Even is still trying shitty pick-up lines on him.

"When I saw you singing in the kitchen I knew you were the man of my dreams."

Something is squeezing hard inside his body, in his belly, and it's borderline painful. Isak doesn't understand what it is. And the thing is, he doesn't exactly want it to stop but he's also scared. Because Even says things he doesn't believe in, doesn't trust him with yet.

"Stop making fun of me," Isak protests weakly.

"I'm not," Even says and then kisses him slow and deep. "I want to take you home."

"Again?" 

"For real this time."

_ For real. For real. For- _

"Okay."

_ Maybe he will stay. Maybe he won't leave. _

_ Maybe no one is leaving me this time. _

They both smile giddily into the next kiss they share before Even grabs his hand and take them both outside, on the way back to the apartment.


	64. Chapter 64




	65. Chapter 65




	66. Chapter 66

The first time Isak wakes up, it's still dark. When he starts to move, the arm around his waist holds him tighter. He can feel Even moves closer to him in his sleep, burying his face in the nape of Isak's neck before stopping all movements, deep asleep. Isak joins him seconds later, safe in his arms.

The second time Isak wakes up, the sun is up, and it takes him quite a while to realize something woke him up. A sound.

Even isn't hugging him anymore but he's still sleeping soundly, looking soft and ethereal on Isak's pillow. He's a heavy sleeper contrary to Isak, so it's no surprise that he isn't bothered by… A phone vibrating? Is that it?

Isak tries to follow the sound, which seems to come from a pair of jeans lying on the floor. It looks like Even's. He gets his phone out to shut it off before going back to sleep but then he sees the name:  _ Sonja _ .

Again.

And it isn't the first she's calling this morning. Even has a couple of missing calls from her, as well as a few messages, one of them he reads mindlessly, without meaning to. It says, " _ should I remind you that we still have an apartment together?!!" _ .

_ Right. _

Isak feels dizzy. He doesn't want to think about what it means but how can he ignore this? He doesn't know what to do either. He wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants to wake Even up and ask for explanation. He wants to yell at him. He wants to beg him to stay. He wants him to hold him and lie again about him being the man of his dreams.

But Isak does none of it. 

Instead he puts the phone on the nightstand next to Even and then he goes back to bed. He lies, back to Even, wide awake now, his heart in his throat, waiting, waiting-

Waiting for Even to stay. 

_ Maybe _ .

When Even finally wakes up, seconds, minutes, perhaps hours later, Isak has no idea, the first thing he does is reaching for Isak. His hand comes brushing Isak's curls and hope blooms inside Isak's heart.

_ Maybe. Maybe. Maybe _ .

But then the phone starts vibrating again and Even pulls away. Isak can hear him pick up the phone, whispering "what, Sonja?" before he gets silent again. Isak can only hold his breath and wait for the inevitable.

"Calm down, I will explain. Wait a sec," Even mutters and then he gets up.

Isak can't see him, obviously, but it's like he can perfectly picture Even getting dressed in a hurry. Isak waits, hopes, naively, that maybe Even will kiss him goodbye, or at the very least touch him, give him  _ something _ to hold onto. He just wants a small proof that Even cares, and that maybe he's coming back.

But soon Even opens the door and leaves without looking back.

It leaves Isak alone, again; just him lying naked in sheets that smell more like Even than himself.

_ Fool. You know they always leave you. _


	67. Chapter 67




	68. Chapter 68




	69. Chapter 69




	70. Chapter 70




	71. Chapter 71




	72. Chapter 72




	73. Chapter 73




	74. Chapter 74




	75. Chapter 75




	76. Chapter 76

Isak is pretty sure he has never run this fast in his life. He's breathless and sweaty when he finally arrives at the train station, his heart beating so fast he's almost scared it's going to jump out of his chest.

Of course the station hall is crowded and he doesn't know how he's supposed to find Even. He has to, though, one way or another, and quickly, because he probably has ten to twenty minutes maximum left before Even gets on the train. He has no time to waste.

He looks across the hall and notices the departures train dashboard.  _ Of course _ . Chances are Even is already waiting for his train on the platform. Isak finds the first train to Trondheim and then he's running again.

He has never been as grateful for how tall Even is as he is right now, because he spots him almost immediately. He's standing on the platform with a suitcase next to him. He has his earphones on and he's staring at nothing, his face blank, indecipherable, same as the first time Isak met him. 

Isak can't help but wonders if Even regrets leaving him with no explanation. If he feels sorry for him. Or if he feels nothing at all.

There's only one way to find out.

In a few strides, Isak is reaching for Even, grabbing his hoodie's sleeve and pulling to get his attention. Even jumps, surprised, but his expression changes completely when he realizes that it's Isak standing in front of him - he looks pained.

"Isak," he whispers, a bit breathless, as if all the air had left his lungs. The funny things is, Isak kind of feels the same way. "What are you doing here?"

See, Isak was so panicked at the idea of missing Even at the train station that he hadn't thought about what he would say to him. But it seems that it won't be a problem: Even's question makes him so angry that the words come to him without him having to think about it. He can't even hold them back.

"What am I doing here? Are you fucking kidding me Even?!" Isak starts yelling, indifferent to the people around them. "You leave, give me no explanation, don't even bother to answer any of my messages and you're expecting me not to show up when you tell me you're at the train station about to leave Oslo? In what world are you living in?!"

Even looks stunned, and Isak feels bad for screaming at him, but he can't stop himself. It's just too much for him.

"Just answer this simple question: were you ever going to send me a break-up message, or were you just going to disappear and start over with Sonja as if nothing had happened? Was I just a distraction while you were working out your problems with your girlfriend?"

"What?!" Even exclaims right away. "I'm not with Sonja anymore, I told you, what are you talking about?"

"Cut the bullshit, Even! She's been calling you for days. She did multiple times this morning and then you left. Next thing you do is going back to Trondheim, to  _ her _ !"

"Isak," Even takes a step towards him and all of sudden, he's holding his face in his hands. Isak wishes he was strong enough to push him away but the truth is, he's still craving any kind of touch coming from Even. "Sonja and I aren't a thing anymore. We weren't when I left Trondheim with my parents and we were even less as soon as I met you. She's been calling me because she's heard I'm doing better and she's pissed I'm not back. Not to  _ her _ . But because I had a whole life with her and breaking up doesn't erase it. We still have an apartment, engagements together that we have to take care of. And also because she still loves telling me what to do and she keeps reminding me I should be back to class to hopefully graduate in two months. But Isak, it was never about  _ her _ ."

"Then why the fuck are you leaving without a word?!"

At that, Even lets go of his face and takes a step back. He looks dejected.

"When she called, she reminded me of this whole life I ran away from and I felt ashamed. I felt useless. Isak, look at me! I'm a failure. I'm supposed to become a teacher but who would want to leave their kids with someone like me?"

It kinds of breaks Isak's heart to hear the man he loves talk about himself that way. But as he's looking at him, he realizes that Even truly means it. He has lost all confidence in his own worth.

Isak can try to remind him though, so he tells him, "you're the most talented and caring person I know, anyone would be lucky to have you teach to their kids."

"Isak, I'm fucking crazy."

It hits Isak like a slap. "Don't use that word ever again when talking about you," he states, clenching his teeth to contain himself. "I'm fucking in love with you, you idiot, and I refuse to let you speak about yourself like that. You're amazing. You deserve better."

Even has closed his eyes and Isak can see tears slipping in the corners of his eyes. He tries to reach out for him but Even shakes his head and rubs his eyes to make it go away.

"Isak, I don't deserve you."

"Bullshit! You're just trying to let me down easy because you don't feel the same way. You left because I wasn't worth the annoyment of explaining it to me compared to all the other stuff you have to deal with," Isak keeps going and this time he's the one with the blurry vision. His voice is shaking with silent tears. It's hopeless, isn't it? He's making a fool of himself for nothing.

"You're lecturing me on the way I'm talking about myself but what about you? Do you hear yourself? You're worth  _ everything _ , baby," Even is touching him again then, this time squeezing their hands together and pressing Isak's against his lips. A soft kiss on his knuckles. "I fucking love you. Of course I do. You saw me at my worst and yet you didn't treat me like a child. You didn't pity me. You treated me like your equal. I love you, Isak, don't ever doubt of yourself."

"Then stay with me," Isak begs, desperate. It makes no sense. If Even loves me then why isn't he staying?

"I can't. I'm not right for you. I'm too messed-up. I'm not the Prince Charming Vilde has been looking for you, I'm a liability."

"I don't want a fucking Prince Charming, Even! I want you!"

"I'm sorry," Even murmures, releasing their hands to wipe away the tears running down Isak's cheeks. "You said it yourself once: some people aren't made to fall in love. I'm one of them. I'm ruining everything and I refuse to ruin you too."

Isak can't believe what he's hearing. He can't believe he's the one who made doubt Even of his own ability to love because of his stupid, pessimistic words.

"Stop it, don't use it against me!" He reaches for Even's hoodie and draws him closer, so they are so close that they are almost kissing. "I was ruined already and you fixed me, Even. If you're leaving now you won't save me from anything, you're going to undone everything you did right."

For the first time, Even shuts up and looks like he's actually considering Isak's words.

Except it's right when the train arrives slowly at the platform. He's running out of time. It's his last chance.

"Even, listen to me," he asks, making eye contact. "I know you have things to take care of and that's why you're going back to Trondheim, right?" Even nods. "It doesn't mean we are over. We are not, you hear me? So if you leave now, you have to promise me you're coming back. Deal with what's waiting for you in Trondheim and then come back to me. We can work things out together. Please, trust me. Okay?"

People are moving around them, getting ready to hop on the train, but neither Isak nor Even care. They don't because suddenly Even is taking him into his arms and kissing him, a bit too hard, a bit too messy, with teeth and tongue and tears; and it isn't perfect, far from it, but to Isak it is. The kiss taste like desperation but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Isak feels like breathing again.

Until he realizes what Even is doing.

"Promise me," he interrupts the kiss to ask but what he feared is happening. Even tries to kiss him into silence again and when Isak pushes him away gently, Even is avoiding his gaze and putting a hand on his suitcase handle.

"Even, please, promise me," Isak cries, clutching at his hoodie. It's useless though, Even is moving and he won't promise him anything.

"I heard you, I promise I heard you," he tells him.  _ What the fuck does it mean?! _ "I just can't."

"Can't what?!"

_ Promise me to come back? Or be with me at all? _

Isak doesn't get an answer. Even leans to kiss him one last time before turning away.

And then Even gets on the train.


	77. Chapter 77




	78. Chapter 78




	79. Chapter 79




	80. Chapter 80

**2 WEEKS LATER**


	81. Chapter 81




	82. Chapter 82




	83. Chapter 83




	84. Chapter 84




	85. Chapter 85




	86. Chapter 86




	87. Chapter 87




	88. Chapter 88

Isak feels bad for interrupting his night with Vilde and Eva, but Mikael was way too weird for him to ignore it. That's why he is back at the flatshare, thinking about every possible scenario explaining what is up with Mikael although he is supposed to spend the night with Jonas. Is it about Jonas then? Isak curses himself for not texting his best friend on the way back but now it is too late. He will know in just a few seconds.

When he gets inside, he can hear voices in the distance. Nothing abnormal so far, so he walks towards it, to the kitchen where he finds Jonas and Mikael already staring at the doorframe, as if they were waiting for him to walk in. Which is probably the case.

They look suspicious though, standing in the middle of the kitchen, Mikael smiling like a goof and Jonas leaning against the counter in a very smug way.

"Okay. The fuck is going on here?"

Mikael opens his mouth to answer but then seems to change his mind. Jonas is finally the one making the decision to speak.

"A package came for you," he says.

Isak doesn't miss the way Mikael holds back a laugh at this. 

"What?"

"Yep. We put it in your bedroom. It seems important."

Jonas can't lie to save his life, as much as Isak can't either, but he won't remind him of it now. He can just go check his room to see what his two stupid roommates are plotting.

"Alright. I guess I will… go open the package."

Mikael giggles again and this time Jonas elbows him to shut him up, before regretting and leaning over to kiss Mik's cheek as an apology. Isak rolls his eyes and decides to walk away from them. They are useless anyway.

"I need to move out," he mutters as he enters his bedroom, and then almost falls over when he finds Even sitting on the edge of his bed with a mug in his hands, all smile. He even has the nerve to laugh at Isak's reaction.

"What the actual fuck?!"

"Hello to you too, Isak," he retorts as he stands up to put his mug on Isak's desk. Like he belongs here. Like he owns the fucking place.

Isak is at a loss of words, and those who finally come out are not the most classy, but it feels incredibly good to say them.

"Well, fuck you, Even."

Even snorts and turns to face him again. He's wearing his signature smirk until he realizes Isak isn't joking with him.

He's pissed and he can't believe Even is showing up at his place after two weeks like nothing happened, acting smug and at ease in his room.

It's not fair.

"Baby…"

As much as this word makes Isak's knees shake and his heart melts, that's the only word Even has the time to pronounce because Isak cuts him off.

"Don't you dare call me that! Do I need to remind you the last time we've talked you left me at the train station without promising me shit? Leaving me completely in the dark?!"

"I know," Even sighs. He makes an aborted movement towards Isak, but resigns himself. This time only explanations can save him. "I'm sorry, believe me, I truly am. I wasn't in my right mind when I left you. But I got time to fix my problems, like you told me to, and now I'm back for you. I swear it's never going to happen again."

"These are nice words, Even," Isak shrugs, the unspoken "but I don't give a fuck" clear although silent.

Isak begged and cried and Even left anyway. The least he can do is make Even crawl, right?

Even looks pained half a second before he starts smiling again. Isak really wants to be offended but he also loves his smile way too much. 

"God, I've missed you so much," Even laughs shortly. He tries to stay serious but clearly he's losing at it. "I swear I'm not making fun of you. I know I hurt you and I'm being a jerk right now. I'm just so fucking happy to see you again."

And how is Isak supposed to fight against him now, huh?

_Fucking Bech Næsheim with his pretty face and his pretty words._

"Shut up," Isak mumbles weakly.

Even takes the opportunity to cross the room, to him, reducing the distance between them to a few millimetres. Isak doesn't even have time to catch his breath that Even is taking his face into his hands so they are looking into each others' eyes. He doesn't have the strength nor the desire to push him back.

"Listen," Even says, a repeat of the day he left him at the train station. Except this time Even isn't leaving. This time he's back, and he's asking Isak to take him back. So maybe this time can be different. 

_Maybe_. _So many maybes._

"Listen. The night we met, remember? The night Mikael took me to the flatshare, I felt so empty but _you_ \- you looked at me like you were seeing something in me. Like you could see hope in me."

Even isn't smirking anymore, not laughing or acting smug. He's focused on Isak, only, and he's speaking with a voice shaking from emotion. He also has something in his eyes, a spark like-

Like maybe he's looking at the person he's in love with.

He keeps going, "and then, later, days later, Mikael told me you guys were having dinner and I could show up if I wanted. I didn't want to, though. I didn't until I heard your voice. That's when I saw _you_. You were so embarrassed of being caught singing but you did it to make your friends smile and it made you smile, too, in the end. It was beautiful. You were beautiful, Isak." 

They lean their foreheads against each other and their hands find their favorite spots, on each other hips and backs, perfectly coordinated, like two pieces of a single whole.

"You want to know what I did these past two weeks? I moved out. Sonja is keeping the apartment until the end of the semester and I'm crashing a friend's couch. I also spent days and nights trying to catch up on everything I've missed at uni. My teachers were very helpful so now I just need to work hard to graduate in six weeks. And then, I can come back to Oslo permanently. To _you_. Because being with you, it's what I want and that's what I'm sure of. Okay? Do you trust me?"

"I just don't want to be disappointed again," Isak confesses. He knows he won't resist Even very long, and as a matter of fact, it isn't the point. He wants Even and him to be together, that's all he has ever wanted, why would he send Even away now then? He's just scared. Simple. He wants Even to know that he needs promises this time.

And Even understands it.

"I can't promise you it won't happen, because as you know I don't always have control. Sometimes I won't make sense. Sometimes I will say things I don't mean. I can't promise I won't hurt you again either, as much as I wish I wouldn't, and the simple thought of it is killing me. But I can promise you to do my very best to make us work. You asked me to give us a chance, to give _you_ a chance and… now it's my turn to ask you. Give me a chance. I will do better. I will tell you everything. I won't disappear. I'm staying. You need time? Take your time. I will wait. It's fine. I can wait."

"I can't promise I won't hurt you either. Nobody can," Isak can't help but point out. 

It makes Even smile, "you're right."

"How long are you staying?"

"I have to go back to Trondheim on Sunday night."

Isak nods and closes his eyes, taking everything in. It can work. They can work, isn't it? Even loves him. He loves Even.

From there, everything is possible.

"Then we don't have a lot of time," Isak says, tilting his head so his mouth is grazing Even's. "Hurry up and hug me tight."

A laugh, both of them this time, and then Even is crushing him into his arms and pressing their lips together.


	89. Chapter 89




	90. Chapter 90




	91. Chapter 91




	92. Chapter 92




	93. Chapter 93




	94. Chapter 94




	95. Chapter 95




	96. Chapter 96

**WEEK 1**


	97. Chapter 97

**WEEK 2**


	98. Chapter 98

**WEEK 2**


	99. Chapter 99

**WEEK 3**


	100. Chapter 100

**WEEK 3**


	101. Chapter 101

**WEEK 4**


	102. Chapter 102

**WEEK 4**


	103. Chapter 103

**WEEK 5**


	104. Chapter 104

**WEEK 5**


	105. Chapter 105

**WEEK 6**


	106. Chapter 106

Isak was already waiting on the platform when Even's parents arrived. He had no idea what they looked like, but turned out they knew what  _ he  _ looked like because Even's mother walked straight to him and hugged him without hesitation, greeting him with an enthusiastic "hello Isak, it's so nice to finally meet you!". Even's father followed shortly after, giving him a warm hug as well.

They are a family of huggers, they told him. 

They introduced themselves too, thankfully, because Even never gave him their names; Sigrid and Jan.

And ever since they have been treating him like they have known each other for months. Isak figures that's what Even meant when he promised Isak he didn't have to stress about meeting them. They are, indeed, very chill.

Isak almost ended up forgetting that they've just met, too, until-

"Even was so worried about us meeting without him," Sigrid says with a scoff.

"What?"

Even has been nothing but relaxed from Isak's point of view, it was his idea after all!

"Oh yeah, he's so paranoid. He spent the day texting us to behave," Jan adds with a laugh - Even's laugh.

"But… he told  _ me  _ not to worry."

"Of course, because he knew we would love you," Sigrid shrugs, and it makes Isak weirdly proud. They like  _ him _ . "No, he's worried about us sharing too many embarrassing stories about him."

"I mean, isn't it a rite of passage?" 

"That's what I told him!" Jan exclaims loudly, making them all laugh.

He didn't get to hear the stories Even was so scared about, but he probably would later, when it would be even funnier with Even complaining and protesting next to him. Sigrid and Jan asked him about his exams, and then they went on how proud they were of Even and how happy they were that he has decided to come back to Oslo. Isak agreed with all of it, obviously. 

"Not that we will see him a lot at home," Sigrid notes with a smirk. "If it's like these past few months, he's probably going to spend his time at your place. Oh, it reminds me, I still need to thank Mikael for taking this idiot in. So stubborn."

Isak smiles. He probably needs to thank Mikael, too.

It makes him think, Even and him haven't talked about how the next months would be like. Isak just assumed Even would crash at his place most of the time, even if he officially was moving back to his parents until… Until what? Isak isn't sure. They had three months to figure it out; three months before Even started working and three months until Isak had to go back to university. It's long enough to both not think about it and enjoy, and for Even to make a decision. Isak knows him well enough to know he wouldn't want to stay at his parents too long, crashing at the flatshare or not.

It's so comforting, though, to know that from now on they have time and they will be together no matter what.

"Here's the prodigal son," Jan jokes, getting Isak out of his thoughts.

True to his words, Even's train arrive at destination. Soon, a crowd of people starts pouring on the platform. It's only after a couple of minutes that Even shows up, struggling to get out of the train with two heavily looking suitcases. 

"My son has such weak arms," Jan comments, loud enough for Even to hear him and the glance he gives him tell him he would flip him off if his hands weren't busy already. "Alright, alright, I'm coming to the rescue!" His father laughs and does as he said.

Isak decides he should probably help too, but as he walks to his struggling boyfriend, Even lets go of his remaining suitcase, and, indifferent to the fact they are standing right in the middle of the way, he grabs his face and kisses him.

Isak isn't complaining, far from it.

"Welcome back, baby," he whispers against his lips, and steals one more kiss before stepping back, feeling more than slightly self-conscious with Even's parents around and pissed travellers trying to get out of the train.

"It's nice to be home," Even says, eyes on him and him only, and Isak can't help but wonder if he's home, if this is what he means. Even smiles at him, as if he can read his mind, and that's when Isak  _ knows _ for sure.

"Are you going to hug your old parents or?" Jan calls behind him. 

When Isak turns around, Sigrid and Jan don't look annoyed, not even a little bit; they are looking at them with a fond expression. 

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were just my drivers," Even jokes, walking to them nonetheless.

"Very funny smart ass, guess who's walking home with his weak arms and his heavy suitcases?"

"My loving mother wouldn't allow it," Even goes for Sigrid first, squeezing her in his arms before kissing her cheek.

"Only because you're cooking tonight and you need time for that," she teases him.

"Oh, am I now?"

Even hugs his father too, and they all laugh at their own banters.

So here's another fact about Even's family: they are a real family, that's the thing. They love and support and tease each other. They have been through some tough times but they never gave up on one another. 

They stayed a united family.

Isak wishes he knew what it felt like to have that kind of certitude in your life. To know that you will always have these people by your side.

"Isak? You're coming, honey?" Sigrid interrupts his train of thought.

"Hm, sorry, what?"

"I wasn't joking, my dear son is cooking for us tonight. Family dinner. Let's have drinks while we are watching him work."

"Very nice," Even comments, fake offended.

_ Family dinner _ .

"You mean you want me to come?"

The three of them look taken aback by his question.

"Of course," Sigrid assures with a kind, soft voice, similar to the one Even uses sometimes when he's trying to soothe him.

Even is back in front of him in a second and he's taking his hands into his, getting closer and closer until their noses are brushing. 

"I have to wine and romance you, remember? It's starting now."

Isak laughs but his heart is beating hard inside his chest, excitement and joy and relief,  _ also _ , running through his veins. He wasn't expecting all of this. He wasn't expecting being welcomed by Even's parents with such open arms. 

"With your parents?" He tries to tease back.

"They are old. If they start drinking they will be out of it before I'm done with dinner."

"I heard you!" Jan yells behind them. "Not old enough to be hard of hearing!"

Even ignores him. "So you want to come?"

For Isak, it's a non-question.

"Of course."

And maybe he's starting to feel it-

That comforting certitude of being surrounded by people who wouldn't leave him alone.


	107. Chapter 107

**EPILOGUE - 3 MONTHS LATER**


	108. Chapter 108

**EPILOGUE**


	109. Chapter 109

**EPILOGUE**


	110. Chapter 110

**EPILOGUE - THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for joining me on this second reposting journey! Your enthusiasm and your support are what gives me enough strength to keep going with this project. What did you think of this AU? Of this ending? 
> 
> Now, you can follow me on my third social media AU: [the purple prince](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26712526).
> 
> See you soon <3


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